Kinver Methodist Church

This is quite a special one for me, as it was this poster at this church, which I drove past regularly at one time, that made me decide to do this blog.  Unfortunately, by the time I had actually got round to starting it, the poster had been taken down and replaced with a practical, informative one, so I began to despair of ever being able to feature it.  However, one must learn not to allow oneself to be trapped in the Slough of Despond: ask and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find...

Imagine my delight on driving through Kinver the other week to discover that it was back.  So without further ado, the poster that kick-started the blog, in all its super-sized glory.  Not technically a pun, just another attempt to put the methods of Mammon into the service of God, but it is still both awe inspiring and of great historic importance.

Tettenhall Wood URC

Here's a Christmas classic: a simple, unfancy poster, with a natty rhyming slogan - I'm assuming they mean the festive season here, rather than Winter in general, which as we all know, is due rather to the tilt of the Earth's axis than to the Incarnation (and as it is due to the tilt in the Earth's axis, it is arguably just down to His Dad's handiwork, rather than His boy - I say arguably, I'm not opening up the whole trinity can of worms today...  We'll leave that one for later).

Nice display surrounding it, drawing attention to the simplicity of the message.

Happy Christmas everyone!

Tettenhall Wood URC

Wonderful shocking pink for the background here: a suitably garish shade for some absolutely first rate punning.  The sheer joyful quality of the punning message means that the use of only one colour for the font is forgiven - even the lack of a capital letter for 'fragile' in order to be consistent with the style of the rest of the writing, even the fact that 'with' looks like it was squeezed in as an afterthought, or because the printer had mis-judged the amount of space, even these minor foibles are forgiven.

A prime example of a Church Pun Poster that should have had crowds gathered round it applauding its beauty.  Love it.

Beckminster Methodist Church

This one ticks almost all the design boxes required for a classic church pun poster: italics, bold, two colours for the writing, different angles - all it lacks is underlining.

As for the content I am not convinced.  Surely apathy is better than active evil - after all, Luke 9:50, 'for he that is not against us, is for us'.  Mind you, Luke 11:23, 'He that is not with me is against me.'  So apathy is out, but indecisiveness is fine.

Also I'm pretty sure that God can use everything and turn it towards his masterplan, that being part of the whole omnipotence thing, so I don't think that apathy is beyond his capacities.

Generally good advice for life though, as it is better to try and fail than never to try at all, but I'm not convinced that God has such a blindspot in his powers - perhaps they meant His church rather than Him, in which case they are probably bang on.

St. Jude's, Wolverhampton

Another great quality poster from St. Jude's, as usual.  However, whereas normally the quality of the design and production are both far better than the content of their posters, this one is so jam packed full of punny goodness, with both verbal and visual playfulness, that it would still have worked if it had been drawn on the back of wallpaper offcuts with a packet of half chewed crayolas.  This my friends, is world class punning at the very highest level.

The only thing that lets it down slightly (and this is a minor caveat) is my regular point about not letting the audience work things out for themselves, feeling the need to ensure we work out that the answer is Jesus - rather at odds with the 'draw your own conclusions' message.  Anyway, surely in this case Jesus is a metaphorical pencil sharpener, rather than the pencil itself, which is rather a representation of life in general, or as I would personally interpret it, our stubby, broken-ended souls, awaiting sharpening.  I do like the choice of ecclesiastical purple though - good call.

Another little niggle - great poster, top punning... so why not lash out on a wee bit of lining paper for the frame and mount it more centrally.  As they do say, the Devil is in the details.

Beckminster Methodist Church

Stylistically, this one is a true classic of the genre, however I have to say I am a little disappointed by the content.

With its use of three different fonts, using two colours, italicisation and different angles for them, it packs in almost everything one wants from a church pun poster except, crucially, a pun.

The style nicely echoes the content, with its 'don't forget to sniff the daisies' type philosophy, but there is nothing to really make you think, nothing that provokes slightly more thought and nothing that really directs you to a specifically Christian answer.  I know I have criticised other posters for being too explicit and not giving the audience the credit of being able to work it out for themselves, but this one could have done with a little hint in the right direction, a little something to make you pause and think a little more about the poster... and that, my friends, is the role of the pun.

Also it is a shame the punctuation lets it down, assuming the half-hearted apostrophe was deliberate - if not it must have been added by a grammar vigilante who needs to brush up on the subject themselves...

St. Paul's, Milngavie

Saw this pair earlier in the year, when visiting Glasgow.  It has taken a while to get them put up on here, but they are well worth the wait.

What we have are a pair of posters, seemingly unconnected at first and (apart from the fact that they are colour printed) both very different in style.  The first deals with an artistic metaphor for a confused, messed up life, although whether some of the great abstract expressionists would agree that the picture in the background is actually a mess is a bit of a moot point, however as far as the poster goes, it doesn't know much about art, but it knows what it likes and it likes pictures that look like things.  So, it's a mess, but it is not too messed up for salvation, whatever anyone else might think...

 The second poster has a much simpler design, although a more complicated subject, featuring as it does one of Mr. Rubik's famous cubes.  This time there is a bit of a clash between the definitively 80s subject matter and the simple, clean-cut 1960s style of the poster itself.

Of course what I did when faced with the Rubik's cube (and I am old enough to remember them first time round) was buy a copy of the book of instructions and work it out from that, rather than get on the 'phone to Erno Rubik himself, as the poster suggests I should.  Although that also, I suppose, acts as a suitable metaphorical response to life that is equally applicable in this context.

So, two different posters, just combined together through chance or co-incidence, or a deliberate pairing.  At first they seem unconnected, until you realise that they form a diptych of dilemma - reflecting both inner and outer confusion, microcosm and macrocosm, both ultimately with the same solution.

Tettenhall Wood URC

Another simple back to basics poster from them, although this one may be a little too simple.  Personally I'd have preferred 'God' to be picked out in red and 'key' underlined.

Not really a pun, which is another disappointment, more just a metaphor, which although a tad clichéd, does summarise the Christian message very nicely and is certainly less wordy than Eliphas Levi's similarly themed book...

St Mary and St Chad, Brewood.

There is a delightful retro feel to this composition: not in just the actual posters, but in the whole layout of the noticeboard.  I love the hand drawn and coloured Olympic rings (which this time are correct in design) which helps make the whole display so endearing as someone has gone to a lot of time and effort to produce this.

As for the posters, they too are delightfully retro - the one on the left has a simple message, which leaves us to draw our own conclusions, over a drawing of two runners that could have come from a school textbook in the late seventies or thereabouts.  The writing is angled as the sole designer-y touch, to follow the route on which the race, which is to be run with perseverance, is being run.  Simple, artless and charming.  The only question is why the cross of St Patrick has been left out of the Union Flag - is the artist a secret Irish republican?

The poster on the right is also quite retro in style, but this time the torch (with its subtle cross - nice one) reminds me of the old pre-oak tree Conservative Party logo, rather than the Olympic flame.  I know the Church of England has been described as 'the Tory Party at prayer', but come on...  Nice use of an appropriate biblical quotation though, rather than going full out for the pun.

All in all a display that sums up the rural C of E.  Maybe not a gold medal, but it gets a Pierre De Coubertin medal for sportsmanship from me.

St. Jude's Church, Wolverhampton

Another glossily produced one from St. Jude's and were it not for the weather a very seasonal one.

It plays on the old-ish saying, 'Life's a beach', which itself is a play on the even older saying 'Life's a bitch' (a far more Buddhist outlook on life, incidentally which nicely sums up the first of the Four Noble Truths) and then it proceeds to take that cheap play on words and take it far, far too seriously.

Obviously it is meant to be taken metaphorically as I'm sure most people are aware that sand gets to the beach by the geological processes of weathering, erosion, transportation and deposition, but if we are looking as to why there is any beach there at all as opposed to no beach (or indeed any life as opposed to no life or anything as opposed to nothing) then fine.  Not quite Thomas Aquinas, but we get the idea.

It's a shame though that the poster doesn't actually trust its audience enough for them to work out the answer for themselves, so it has a handy shadow crib sheet beneath the deckchair to provide the answer for them.

Actually a far more interesting question from a theological point of view, would be who put the blobs of tar that ruin your towels and the bits of broken shell that get into your flip-flops there...  One for the manichaeists perhaps.

Holy Trinity Church, Hazlemere

Another one provided by a friend...

A lovely colour picture on a traditional green background and an interestingly different font from usual, make this one stand out from the crowd.  I also salute the innovation of the two part poster - whether it was designed that way, or whether this is an inspired bit of improvisation to fit the poster to the noticeboard, I don't know, but it lifts this poster above the run of the mill.

My only reservation with it is the fact that basket case is actually a fairly unpleasant slang term, which I suppose has become more acceptable through age (when was the last time you heard it used in everyday speech?), but is not a term I'd expect church folk to bandy about.

Also, much as I'd like to think that the most hopeless of mental or physical incompetents could lead their people from slavery to the promised land, I do think it may be promising a bit too much.

Still - like French movies of the 1980s, this is a wonderful triumph of style over substance.

Emmanuel Church, Chesham

Here's another one sent by a friend (ta Z.), which although not really a pun at all, is quite a nice little poster: almost Shaker like in its simplicity, with no fussy graphics, or serifs or anything like that.

Not entirely convinced of the accuracy of the message, as I am sure if there were any perfect people about they would be equally welcome, but you know what they mean and you know they mean it well.

Nice one Chesham.

Beckminster Methodist Church, Wolverhampton

A rather topical entry here, with an Olympic themed poster - it was actually on display during the games, but I didn't have time to get it photographed and posted as I was too busy watching them.  However, now that they are over let's get back to the poster.

Nice classic poster design, with some white shadowing on the letters adding depth, some nice alliteration drawing the whole slogan together and a common mis-drawing of the Olympic rings, turning them into a sort of complicated Venn diagram, which may just be enthusiastic ignorance, or it may be a cunning plan to avoid falling foul of the draconian Olympic copyright laws that saw so many shopkeepers threatened with prosecution...

I can only presume that the race referred to in the poster is a metaphorical one, as the only straight race in the Olympics is the 100m sprint as all the others are at least slightly curvy.

Beckminster Methodist Church, Wolverhampton

Here's another great little traditional poster: three (count 'em, three!) colour printing on an orange background.

Uses the classic trick of taking an everyday phrase or saying and turning it right back at ya.

Nice theological content and great use of italics and bold, although the capital M of More doesn't seem quite so slanty as the rest of the word.

A minor quibble for a nice entry.  Lacking a true pun, but more than making up for it in variety.

Newtown Evangelical Baptist Church, Chesham

Another top quality poster: the evangelicals obviously have a bigger pun-budget than the mainstream Church of England, as this is beautifully printed and super-sized.

God as rescue helicopter pilot, presumably with the Holy Ghost as navigator and Jesus as the winchman.  Forget all the shepherd metaphors in the rather dated 23 Psalm poster next to it, this is where its at in today's church.  Incoming!!!

Thanks to Posh for this one.

Olivet Evangelical Church, Falkirk

Kindly donated by a Facebook friend (ta very much Alan), here is a nice representative example from north of the border.

The poster does seem a little lost in the vast expanse of noticeboard, which should surely be packed with exciting events to keep the 'youth' that the poster is surely designed to lure in, happy and occupied in a wholesome and healthy manner.  Nice production values though and a funky choice of colour scheme.

As for the txt spk, well - any version of a quote from Jeremiah that is not in the original Hebrew is just one form of translation or another, whether it be in the Greek Septuagint, the New English Bible or St. Jerome's Vulgate version.  However, I do feel there is a little less of the mystery and majesty of religion captured here than in the King James, but maybe that's just me.

Tettenhall Wood URC

Here's another old school one - no Fancy-Dan graphics or printing here, thank you very much.

Its plain and simple sans-serif has an almost coiled dynamism that echoes the pun within, whilst the wavy underlining both emphasises the key element of the message and forms a surface from which the letters spring, like new life from the soil, and on which one can walk.  The whole springtime/new life wordplay is further reinforced by the choice of green (the dayglo somewhat restrained here...) for the background poster.

Punning successfully on so many levels at once - nice one.

St. Jude's Wolverhampton

They are certainly top local church in terms of quantity of posters.  This one is a step up in quality from the last.  Not in material terms, obviously - there are still very high quality production values on display here - but rather with some top class punning content, referring to a well known series of TV adverts for DIY products.  Making Mammon serve the Lord.  Only falls down on the fact that I have never seen a tin like that anywhere.  Still, it's the thought that counts...

St. Jude's, Wolverhampton

Here's another highly polished, modern looking poster from St. Jude's.  No real pun content, but nice implication that He has gone to St. Jude's and correct use of the apostrophe, which is always a plus.

Happy Easter!

Beckminster Methodist Church, Wolverhampton

Here's a seasonal pun poster, again in classical black font on dayglo paper.  It makes excellent use of the power of punning to raise an interesting philosophical and theological point.  'Tis indeed the gift to be simple.

St. Jude's, Wolverhampton

Here's another example of the more modern, colour printed poster, complete with illustration.  It's a nice bit of social history in the making too, as it refers to the current financial crisis and the low interest rates on offer to savers, whilst making a mightly effort to increase the interest rate on offer to saviours...

Tettenhall Wood United Reformed Church

Here's a nice traditional, 'old skool' church pun poster.  Yellow paper, slightly dynamic font, no picture.  The only thing it lacks is two colours for the writing - key words in red would have made it a perfect example of the genre.  Some might argue that it is not strictly speaking a pun, but I think it is close enough to qualify.

Holy Trinity, Tewkesbury

Here's a rather professionally produced poster which features both an unusual football related pun and a visual gag to accompany it.  Top class punning, the boy done good.

This is an occasional blog to celebrate the posters displayed outside churches in the UK, often cheaply printed and simply designed, and which feature as their main selling point an incredibly bad pun.

This is a much under-appreciated area of theology which is deserving of more study, especially given the fact that the entire Christian church was founded on the basis of a pun by Jesus (Matthew 16:18) and this little blog will attempt to give religious puns the respect they deserve...